my dream?or e nightmare?

my dream, the nightmare?.

[bells ringing..]
lesson over..
the 1st thought that came into my mind was..
what was i gona do..
how am i gona spend my day at home..
[mind dreamin~'.*]
then boOm!
someone interupt my day-dreamin..
evelyn asked me if i wanted to do some shop-sighting..
to spend our free time..
i jus gave her a smile..and said..
maybe another day..
and i parted the school..
taking a direct bus over to the train,
and taking tat train straight home..
[day-dreamin..
as i looked out straight up to the sky.]
thn someone called on to me..
"michelle!"loudly..
i got shocked.
and jump for a second..
thn started looking around..
for that person whom called me..
or maybe another person whom was also named michelle?!
no idea..
i looked around..
and saw noone..
so i continued to do what i did before..
and there it goes again..
MICHELLE~
then this time..
i strightaway..
looked at where the direction where the voice came from..
it was a guy..
a good lookin guy~
[mouth drooling]
sitting right ther..
waving at me.
mind thinking..
did i even know someone that handsome..
. . .

"NOPE.."
so i just smiled 1st//
and gosh* he walked over..
and stand right beside me.
right after he stand before me..
he gave out a deep hot breath,
and said,"thank god it's really you..
i thought i would be calling out the wrong person..
which that would be so embrassing~arwhh!"
with a adorable yet sweet and cute face'.*
hahas..i laughed out..
oOps..he heard me!!
he gave out a loud quick laugh too..
and gave me a big friendly sunny smile..
[so sweet]

thn i suddenly remembered..
who's he?
but i didnt clearance that..
i just asked..
"embrass?why?"
thn he replied..
[whispering:]
coz i called you afew times but you didnt answer me..
hahas..
scratching his head..
so i thought maybe you werent her.
...
but my mind was still in a blank..
who was he again..?
thn i just smiled back to him..
and asked softly..
"you are?"
...
afraid to look at his reaction..
but still looked up and peek at his face..
he was like..
-_-" diiao and
nothing to say..
then he smiled.
and re-introduce hismself..
im jeff..
[mind went into a computer search..
searching for data..JEFF]
jeff.. jeff//
momoeries started flashing back~
JEFF?that guy whom i liked during kid-de-garden..

gosh..my face started to blush..
as i recall the time..
[he was always surrounded by both female teachers/parents and girls my age,back then
i pick up my courage and,
gave him my favourite ring and run away
...
which i slipped and fall right infront of HIM..
arghh!!
what luck..
after that i never dare to talk to him again..
he was always called the "prince of blue"
which i cant remember why?!
. . .dot

he pad my head and called me..
"missy michy baby"
and said how's your finger?
omg..he knows about that?!
he notice me?ME?!
[incident:i accidently cut my finger when i wanted to cut pieces of carrot for my rabbit]
thn he said.."so you remember me now?"
thn i was..
"heehex..how did you know i was me?i mean michelle?"
he replied with a cute look..and blush..
"i dont know why either.."

thn this just gotta happen..
i arrive my destination..~
why couldnt time just stop right there?!!!
i told him that..this was my stop..
and he smiled..
and said,"me too!"
thn right inside my heart**
i was screaming..till i no longer can speak..

he asked if i wanted to have a drink.
i jus nodded my head..
and there we were..
sitting right there..
in e cafe..
drinking and talking..
we exchanged numbers.
and when we just wanted to leave..
it started raining heavyly..
we both looked at each other..
and laughed..
and he said..
we are the stones of reflection..
and i just laughed..
not knowing what it means..

we walked pass the petshop.
and i just couldnt get my eyes off e shop..
and he was so sweet enough to say..
let's take a look inside..
wohoa..there where like so many kinds of puppy in there..
arghh..jus wanna have some..
he looked at me..
smiled and said..
"i got 3dogs at home..~"
[draggiing his words LONG..]
i gave him a firece yet funny look..
"are you trying to showoff.."
he smiled and slowly walked off..
and walked out of the shop..
i ran after him..
and gave him a kick on his leg..
he fall..
i panicked..
"are you okaye?"
he said yes in a pain tone..
and i asked again,"you sure?..
we better have a doc. to look at it"

he then replied..
if you do me this favour,
i may no longer hurt..
thn y mind was in a blank..
but i quickly answer.."okie!!what is it?"
he then replied,
be my girl.
. . .

[birds flying pass my head..]
i looked at him..
and stood up..
and walked away..
looking angry but
i turned..
and replied..
if you can catch me 1st..
he gave me a smile..
and said.."here i goO!!"
i quickly run..
smiling~

running into the park..
as fast as i could..

thn BOOM*

i heard a car bang..
"a accident?!"
please dont let it be jeff..

please..

please//
as i run back to my pervious step i ran..

those words was the only thing that came into my mind..
please please please..

PLEASE..

please dont let it be jeff..



when i reach there..
i couldnt see anything..
as people where all surrounding the place..
i squeeze my way in there..
and ther i saw..

. . .
jeff!
i screamed..
i looked at him..
hugging him..
holding his hand tight..
not moving his body..
afraid that if i did..
something may hurt him..
and quickly asked,"did anyone called for the ambulance?"
nobody did..
i quickly took out my hp and dialled 995..
wait a minute..
whats this?
what's jeff hugging?
then i hurt a little girl crying..
and jeff coughing..
JEFF!i scream..
how are you feeling?
dont move okaye..
the ambulance will be here any minute now..
i carried the little girl..
[trying my best not to move jeff..]
and handled her to her mom..
who was insearch of her..
and who was very grateful to jeff..

e ambulance came..
and jeff was immedialtey send to the hospital.
i went with him..
i cried all the way there..
then right there i heard a voice..
calling out JEFF..
wher's my son?!
and the nurse pointed my way ..
is he jeff's dad?
the man run over my way..
and asked..
how is he?
i answered..
he isnt out yet..
with tears tearing out of my eye..
i clean then away..
and answered..
uncle dont worry..
he will be fined..
he cried and hug onto me..
thn later i notice..
a pre-sch kid right behind him..
sister?

the doctor camed out..
and he told us that it was a success..
and everything is fined..
i gave out a deep breath and smiled..
but still crying..
this time..its crying out of happiness'.**

they roll jeff which was lying on e bed..
unconicsious..
i quickly followedd..
jeff's dad[i think] told me to head back home..
but i didnt want to..
until i know that jeff is fined..
so uncle brought "her" ack home 1st and gave me his no.
so when jeff is up..that i would call him immedialtey..
i slpt back him..
holdin on to his hands.

he waked up after a couples of hours later..
and i quickly called his dad..
which he was already on the way back..
we talked..
and suddenly he said..
"dont you wanna know what happen?"
i replied..
"i do..but whats most important is you.."
and "let me guess//
you saw a little girl in danger..
and quickly fly to recuse.."
he looked at me in wonders..
and said..
can you tell me my future..
...
i laughed..ahahs
and said..
i can tell predict everything..
ahhas..
we laughed..
and uncle run in..
breathing hard..
collecting his breath..
thn he hug jeff as if they were a item..
thn i saw jeff padding him..
like he was the dad..
-_-"what's goin on..?!
then he said..
"let me introduce..
he's my dad.."
i smiled..
"we already met once..",his dad replied..
jeff:ohh?!how did it go?1st impression?
uncle:not bad..she's a good one!

-_-" is this a normal coversion between a father and son?!
and i ended up skippin lesson..
jeff:did you infor your parents that you were here?
mich:i did..dont worry//
uncle:hmm hmm..
jeff:what are you hmm'ing about?
uncle:a NEW marriage awaits..
jeff:[blushin]hanging his arms over his dad..
mich:BLUSH..!!

i went back home..
[in the afternoon]
msg jeff that i got home safe.
and quickly tok a bathe..
ran over to my hp..

new msg..!!
"=].. from now on,
you are mine..
and mine alone"
i smiled in happiness..
thn as i scroll down..
there it was written..
"i love you**with a face that blush*"
i blush n replied..
"so do i,gd nitex"
and then i slpt through..
..
so my daily retoutes was..
right after lesson..
went straight to the hospital and accompany jeff..
[my parents already know about jeff..
and are happy for me]

a week and a half,in a blink of a eye passed by.
jeff was discharge..
yeahh!
uncle drove jeff back home..
with me behind together wif jeff in the back sit..
both of us were sleeping behind.
and finally we reach our destination..

WOWwowWOWOW..
is this his place?
it isnt just a bungalow..
but a bungalow BUNGALOW?
i mean..
bigger thn a normal bungalow..
are you kidding me?
rubbing my eyes..
not sure if i were still asleep..
thn jeff whom arm was over his dad..
and usin his walking stick..
came beside me..
jeff: are you okie?
did something wnt into your eyes?
i just stare blank..
then suddenly he held my face..
and blow staright into my left eyes..
gently..and then kiss me right on my eye..
his dad was pretending not to see anything..
i blush..
so did he..
then we walked into his house..
wowwow..
is this some sort of castle?!!
jeff room was located at the 2nd level..
so i holded him..
moving him up.
thn his room..
is so big..
not to mention his toilet..
am i still sleeping?
this must be a dream..
then jeff came behind me..
hugging me..
are you trying to seduce me..
i blush but at the same time asked why..
thn he just walked away and dare not face me..
with his back face to me..
he said..
coz i get hot when girls i like stand infront of the washroom..
i looked at him..
trying to bully him..
ooh.
i know your "black secret"
hahas..
then he tickle me..
rolling me around..
there we lied down on his bed..
we were to sleepy that when one of his maid came in to infor that dinner was ready..
we just slept there..
then i heard someone talking..
it's jeff..
and who was e other voice?
then i opened my eyes
and saw e little girl whom was behind uncle that day..
wait a minute..
why is "she" kissing jeff?
jeff pushed her away..
and came over to me..
pulling me to his ..
he intro us..
and said..
this is my little brother..
i smiledd..
. . . .little brother
head running into a circle..

your brother?
then his brother ran out of the room..
but before that..he gave me a starre..
what's going on?
then jeff explained..
and i came to understand that i mistook that "her" into a "girl"
i just cant help it..
coz he just look so pretty..
and i cant help thinking..
he doesnt like me..
[i told jeff]
he hugged me..
dont worry..
we kiss..
straightt on my lips..
it was my 1st kiss!

to be continued!~

bothh bloggs are alwayys MINEs..**

okaye..
i hv decided..
tat i wld use tis blog..
to blogg up wadever storyy tat cums up in my mindd..
or anii dreams..
wahhs..
i luvv typiin..
andd wriitiin storiies..
since i wass youngg..
so myy daiily postt will b wriittenn iin
http://michellerachel.blogspot.com
n storyy n dreamms will b writen in here..
http://michrach.blogspot.com
....

my dream..

my life...

my story'*

tis story is wriiten by michelle rachel.*

warnin..tis story had bn cut short'

secondary sch life..
as per normal..
attendin lesson..
lesson seem so peacefull..
as if i forgt sumthin important'

e teacher approach me..
askin me if i had seen anithin..
floatin ard lately..
i jus answered honestly and smiled..
nope!
thn e teacher continue to approach other students
and askin e same question..
she had ask me..
most of the students seem to agree..
seein tat kind of thins..
i was blur at tat time..
as i was mostly blurin ard..
ignorin e surrdin ard me'
so i wasnt reallie sure..
hearin e chinese reigon..
e buddish said tat if euu see tat kind of thins..
dun call out..
nor look at it..
as it wld noe euu can see it and tak euu away..
to me, i dun believe tat'
as i am a christian!

thn lesson started..
i stare out of e window..
and ..
gosh!i reallie can see a read light human figure..
floatin ard..e class coridoor'
wad was i supposed to do..?
i jus looked at tat "thin"
as i came in to out class..
students started to shiver..
and the weird thin is..
i jus stare claimly while it came closer..
it was a guy..a guy ghost..
he looks so familiar..
and his face was jus infront of mind..
i was reallie shock..
lky it was gona kXXX me!
i was lky startin to gt nervous'
thn my teacher, miss rach thrown a marker towards me..
and said.."stp dae-dreamin" and turn over to continue writin on..
ms rach wasnt reallie scoldin me..
she was actually hlpin me..
as i try to turn back..and look wher "he" was..
my frien signal me tat he was standin rite beside me..
and thn "he" sat dwn..
thn tis question came along my mind'
"wait!a min, hu was supposed to b sitin here?"

my head spin convertin a flash back..
pictures flown ard..
"who's tis guy"
and e past came back to me..
-slowly-
lky a normal dae..
he sat beside me..
and as usally i wasnt payin attention..
but drawin..
wanted to borrow a easer..
but my twin frien jus wont lent me..
and -"wad are thy laughin at"- flashin back..and thinkin'
thy are teasin me..
as josh had a likin towards me..
. . . .WAIT A MIN!who is josh..?
he smiled happily to me..
and pass his easer to me..
and said "wifout me, euu wld b in a mess"
and i replied him, "ya rite..
so do euu wan me to marry euu thn.."
he smiled quickly and said.."i do"
thn e whole class laughed..
and so did e teacher
but he ended up bein called to stand outside' hahas..
as a punishment to hv bn such a clown..
after a lesson..
he was let in..
he smiled and sae..
did euu miss me..?i noe euu lky me..
,wif a serious-cum-funni/cute face*
-"wad is my relationship wif him"-
i smile and started blushin..
-"why am i blushin?
wad's happenin?"-
after sch..
i was hangin out wif my grp of frien..
but thy left me shortly..
after sayin, "hey mich josh hv bein waitin for euu almost a yr'
gif him a chance to tok..
a chance to prove himself.."
as josh seem to b followin again!
i turn and said to him..
"dun euu feel tired..
always followin me,
tailin me to hm frm sch thn sch to hm"
he replied.."noO!" wif a cute serious look on his face..
my face turned red..
real red..he laughed..
and held onto my hand and walk me hm'
he send me hm..befor he was abt to leave'
he asked me if i lkyed him e way he lkyed me..
i kept quiet and stander'
whn he was abt to turn and go..
i ran and held him tie..
huggin e back of him..
and said.."dun leave me alone"
and started tearin..
he turn ard..still huggin me'
and smile, i'll nv let euu go
i nolded my head..smiled'
and we had our 1st kiss..
he shouted out loud.."she's mine",
carryin me up high and turnin ard..
i feel so lucky, so bless!
and SUDDENDLY, it started to rain..~
wad a let dwn..
but it wasnt over yet..
we each had a shower..
i took josh's uniform,
wash it and gt it dry..
while it was still dryin'
josh was wif a white plain towel..
hahas..
he looks so cute..
as if he was gona b eaten up by me..
or he was raped by sum1 else..
ahahs..
and emotion was let out..
and i laughed out..
josh walk over..
i stp..look on e floor...
while he sat by my side..
i turn and face him..
while we had our 2nd kiss'
i slowly lied dwn frm e sofa and we started gettin nervous'
still he nv stp kissin me and
slowly touch my waist..
and till my hmm hm..
breast..
i feel so embrasse..
thn he said while kissin me, "dun b afraid"
smiled*
as we continue..
e washin machine sounded..
i push him away'
feelin tat it was such a fast move'
i feel guitly and apologise..
he smiled and pad his hand on my head..
statin tat he will wait for me..
and winker* and said.."BUT dun let me wait to longg ok?"
i feel so touch..had our hugs'
and he wore his uniform and left..
as e rain had stp..long ago'
after he left shortly..
my parents' came back..
while i was in e kitchen fixin sumthin to eat..
my dad and mum,askin hw was my dae
replyin thm well'
and my hp msg tone rang..
i open up and josh msg..
"i almost lose control"
i laughed and went back my room..

e next dae..
as usually josh was rite ther waitin for me..
e onli different is he is no longer tailin me'
he's nw my stead..
-"my stead?. . . ."-
we tok and had a stroll to sch..
everythin was e same..
onli tat e class didnt noe tat we wer a item alrdy'
but -_-" josh jus had to announce it to everybodi..
even ms rach was happi for him..
and warnin him nt to hurt me..or upset me'
hahas..i laughed'
actually it wasnt a bad thin lettin everybodi to noe'
brought me hm..
he came into my hse..
showed him my room..
he was shocked at all my drawins'
and we had tea and cookies, tat my mum baked'
we heard a sound..
it was my mom..
she's back..
she opened e door and headed for e kitchen..
josh suggested to jump..
hw cld he..my room was located at level2
thn i screamed..and realised josh's shoe was in e cabinet'
i hurry went dwn and took e shoe..
while my mum came out and infor me tat..
she wasnt gona cook dinner tonite..
and tat we are gona eat out..
i lied to my mom tat i wasnt feelin well..
and tat she wld brin back tak-away for me..
while she left e hse..
josh was abt to leave e hse..
whn my nanny came over and said tat she heard tat i wasnt feelin well..
so she came over to tak care of me..
-_-" so we are back at point1~
i was in my room wif josh while my nanny was sitin in e hall readin..
afraid tat josh wld go hungry,
i secretly cooked maggie noodles for josh'
and ran straight up'
we tok and laughed'
thn my parents came back hm..
thy took their slp..
while josh and me was left to worry..

to b continued~

sumthin went wrong wif my damn blogg'

arghh..sumthin went wrong wif my damn blogg..
haiz..~
wait till i am free thn i'll correct it..
aniway,
i had a normal dae..
and funni tat i gt to include..
in sch..
it was damn funni..
especially whn lisa and annie was immatin saranya..
which i feel tat she was kind of angry abt it'
nonono..!dun deny!
jus admit it..
as tis is my blogg..
ahhas'
after tat..lesson ended'
walk to north point and rush to e mrt station..
dammit..
hp went low batt'
all i cld to is..
msg msg msg..
thn.. ---_--
annie had to call over..
and my batt went gone case'
wahahs..
i took a turn back to woodlands
and went straight to e payphone..
and tryin to recall..
coz of tat..i cld rmbr annie's no.
hahas..
9xxx1160...
haahs
i thin' whahas
we laughed laughed laughed e whole time..
hahas..

oh ya..
fang didnt attend lesson again..
and as usually mr cham and mdm judie asked me why..
...and gif me tat face..
my god..
jus gif me a brk..
i am here friend..
nt her mother' for cryin out loud!
and she gt my dvd over at her place..
arghh..!hahas
okokaye..tat is ok..
but worst is..
i saw a ver fake-oO person typin to act cool and pretty..
none other thn christina'
actually i bear nor grudge wif her..
neither do i care abt her..
jus dislky e way she is..
no, i shld put it tis way'
i "diSlky" e way she is tryin to act sumone she aint..
she's nt important in my life..
as she's nthin to me..
she means nthin at all..
onli a topic of speakin'
(of diSlky)

todae,
jaime was kind of siCk..
heard tat she was hvin a bad cough..
flu..
fever..
and stomach cramp'
god..
hard on her..
but i wish to correct her on a certain thin,.
tat is..
she always claim she was siCk sick siCk'
i jus wanna sae..
dun claim sumthin, euu do nt wish to hv..
as by acceptin it..euu are receivin'
if euu are sick..
jus pray to god..to hv everythin fix/done for euu'

learn all tis frm church..
friends'
and etc'

on mondae..
mdm judie let us off early..
as e april intak gt a exam yesterdae'
so inorder nt to disture thm..
we gt a early realease..
thinkin ta i cld rest and study laster..
i was damn wrong..
ahahs..
i came hm..
accompanied claudia to buy lunch for her and my mom..
reach hm..
sat dwn on e sofa..
and thn pack e room..
and my room is so neat nw..
ahahs
okoaye..
i'll stp here..
-no endin-

hm..lazin ard'

lazin at hm..
doin nthin..
waitin for sophia and crystal to cum by..
sophia..?
to return me my discs..
crystal?
to pass her e hamster..
and return her, her comics'
...
sian sian sian'
hahas..
later i still gt to study..
tidy up e hse..
haiz..
ahahs..

everlastin love.*

my passion in vcds are back..
and i rmbr, why was i tat crazy abt vcds in e 1st place..
romance..laughter..
e wrd, "feelin!"
i cant realli explain..
but onli me myself cld actually noe wad exact is goin on'
tat feelin..
maks me realise tat i am alive
tat was e main purpose of me buyin vcds'
same goes to my cds.."my music" and comics...
tat pure "real" feelin,
i'm nt sure if u wld understand..
but i reallie hope all e ppl i noe, will noe'
as i wanna share tis special feelin!
=) hard to explain..*

they wasnt aint lesson todae..
it was a holidae for all ite students and teachers'
actually was supposed to go for a swim..
but hu noes..
cancelled..
bored..
but lisa and saranya turn up at my place..
ard 10plus'
lisa went to e suna and for a dip in e pool...
while saranya and me jus started tokin..
ahhas..

...my sisters' friend is currently livin over in ourr hse'
i feel sorry for her..
hearin her story..
but i aint pityin her..
as i dun wish to pity anione..
as i wld b a sign of disrespect'
her story?^
her mum beat her up..
even knowin tat she was prengent'
her mum wld do weird action to her..
and she wld b ver unreasonable at times..
although,
her daughter gt prengent befor even gtin marry..
or wifout her mum's consent..
but which human bein doesnt mak mistaks..
she brk up wif her guy wifout knowin tat she was carryin her baby'
knowin tat she was carryin his flesh and blood..
she told him..and to think he jus act normal..
and didnt even care..."heartless"
so she's currently livin in my sister's room..
and she lent me her comics..
which appears to hv sum..
hm hmm hmm..in ther'
unlky my comics..
although, my comics is m18 and much mor ...XXXXX
but atleast mine is wif a story..
aniway..i dun reallie care
jus reallie hope tat isabel's frien wld b able to overcum everythin'
and same goes to isabel..
as she herself is oso stressin..
she feels bad for her, but oso stress tat she wld gt destracted'
as isabel normal isnt hm..
she wld b cumin hm late'
frm both sch, hmwrks and wrk..
but nw she gt to head straight hm..
inorder to let her frien in e hse..
*her frien kept on msgin her askin wher's her location..
is nt lky isabel mind is jus tat..
she's oso hvin a hard time of her own..
payin her own bills..
her hp bills..sch fees..
allowance..etc etc'
it's nt lky i dun understand her stituation'
^isabel is hvin quite a hard time nw..

jus yestedae,
my greatmother called..
surprise..seriously'
as she dun normally wld call..
unless she wan my dad to fix tis or tat'
i dun feel tat much of hatre to her,
compared to e past..
as she's much beta nw..
in e past?!
she dun care a damn abt us..
onli those daughter-in-law hu gifs birth to a son..
or if we wer males..
but sorry..sad to sae, i am happi tat i was borth to b a ger!
although i always wish to hv a bro..
but..too bad..
oh ya..my cousin, maureen(tay) added mi in friendster..
....guess it was yesterdae ba'
as i hardly go in to friendster,
unless i am damn sickerin bored..
hahas..
which i was yesterdae..
as i almost disture all my friends' online..
ahahs..














michellerachel.*
my passion'*
is a gift frm god..
my everythin is a grt creation by him..
hu luvs me no matter wad..
givin us e best'
he gifs me courage and strength..
and jesus, i am urs..
in christ i nw stand!
"so perfect is ur love!"
-heavenly lord-

my passion for everythin'

jus found out recenlty..
i am interested almost in everythin'
lky swimmin, cyclin, rollerbladin, ice-skatin,
archery, badminton, tennis..
damn alot..
hahas..
aniwayy,
mayb i am quite busy..
unable to daily blog in my blogg..
or mayb i am jus plain lazy..
ahahs..
who noes..

okokaye..
aniway, mani thins happen..
lky jus 2daes ago..
it was meifang's b'dae..
hahas..
share money and bought her a real cool skirt..
ahhas..
chinhui pick e design while annie choose e colour..
ahhas..
mee..?jus incharge of payin..
naa..as i was still rushin over..no time
and oh shit..we didnt hv enuff time to buy e cake..
arghh..!!!
shit shit shit!
mani mani thins happen..
happi and unhappi..
hahas..
i wld rather prefect nt tokin abt e unhappi wans..
and skip to e happi wan..
hmm..
shit..i forgt'
hmm..*thinkin~ ....stressin*
on meifang b'dae..
went over to chinhui's hse
thn over to lot1
took neo-print..*free
hahahs..
tok tok tok,.
chatted..and while in chinhui's place..
annie was lky stressin to win over e bleach ps2 game..
ahahs..
and thy won..
onli 1 of e battle..but thy are pretty gd in playin'
i reallie wanted to write dwn wad happened all tis whole wk..
but it appears tat i hv forgttn abt it..
so wad..
as long as ther is a future..
nthin is a problem!
heard frm claudia tat her frien's gona lent her,
e show..e prince turn into a frog..
oh ya..she sae tat oen of my friend gif her a testino..
wonder hw cld it b..
but hw cares..
hahas
gd nite..

m i c h r a c h*
michelleraChel

jus a few daes agoo..
sumone asked me..
wad do i wanna b whn i grow up..
although, it was a normal questions tat adult ans..
but i answered seriously!
i wanna b who god made me to be..
tat is .."myself"! =)